Forever Running

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He had been running for some time now, not caring who heard or what he happened to scare. All he could decipher from his thoughts was pain. His lungs and muscles had started aching long ago, and were now just fading into dull throbs. The slash along his shoulder from a random bush was still bleeding profusely, but he couldn't find the will to care. His paws were raw and cracked from the constant pounding upon the earth, yet they couldn't stop. Even with the physical pain that should've stopped him long ago, Moonsight still found his breaking heart hurting the most.

When he reached the river, he waded into the shallows before taking off at a sprint, letting the icy coldness splash along his feet legs and washing off the dried blood and dirt on his paws that he hadn't attempted to clean. His paw caught on a rock and sent him sprawling head first into the murky depths. Coming up for air he swam towards the bank where he finally stopped. He was sure his paw was at least sprained now, if the constant sharpness was anything to go bye, and he honestly didn't feel like pulling his battered body backed to camp. Instead, he settled for dragging himself over into the brush and settling down, content to let the world pass him bye.

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NOTES: here...
OUTFIT: clickky
WORDS: 0 0 0 0
MUSE: good/bad and just plain ugly
CREDIT: NOTHING_PERSONAL@CAUTION 2.0
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Foxstar wasn't sure how to explain her mood. She was happy that MoonSight was back, yes, but did he really expect her to stay with him forever? Especially since he left without a word or trace? She was, yes, but... she soon had to give up hope, and SwiftPaw or rather, SwiftBreeze came. She felt happy again...

Now that MoonSight is back, or at least, for now, her heart ached and it tore in two. She still loved MoonSight, yet she loved SwiftBreeze... And they both didn't seem to understand that, now did they?

Now here she was, following down MoonSight's scent because he went missing. Again. He won't get away so easily this time... Not at all!!!

She pounded her paws against the ground, she made sure she was going faster than she ever went before. She wanted him to stay. FoxStar didn't want him to go... Not only that, she knew that they both had to talk. She knew that. She just knew. Because, so much changed when he was gone... She even changed herself. She wasn't so happy and she had low self-esteem once more...

"MoonSight!!!" she called out, soon seeing his pelt in sight. The thing was, it was on the other side of the creek. He must not of heard her, or didn't care, because his body did not move, "MoonSight..."

She muttered his name quietly for only her to hear. She slowly crossed the river or creek by stepping stones, and nudged his pelt with her nose. FoxStar sighed, and sat down beside him, "MoonSight..."

She looked away, and groaned.

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gonna stand t

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“Just give up! You can’t win, always were a failure.” The black tom snarled at him, twisting him so that he was pinned to the ground. Lancey hadn’t been kidding when he had explained that Kako was not an opponent to be underestimated. The second in command to Peklo was an abnormally large and extremely strong warrior who wasn’t afraid to fight against the rules. Moonsight was having a hard time gaining any ground against him.

“Never! You don’t know me! Starclan is on my side!” Moonsight twisted toward the side, bringing his claws slashing against Kako’s chest.

Howling in anger, Kako slammed his paw into the earth inches from Moonsight’s face. The moment of weakness gave Moonsight the chance he needed and he threw his weight at the other tom and sent him sprawling off him and to the side. Kako never got his footing, and tumbled over the edge of the cliff and into the gorge below.

Moonsight thought the screams of pain would stay with him forever.

Shuddering, he pushed his way back into the battle, trying desperately to find Wavestar and Peklo. When a small cream bundle was thrust up against him, he was forced to stop. Emmy was barely holding her own against a sleek orange tiger she-cat, together, they were able to slice the rouge’s throat, it was a better punishment than whatever awaited the survivors.

A yowl sounded from above the battle and it seemed as if all the cats stilled. On a ledge, Wavestar was battling Peklo; both looked extremely battered, and tired but still, the fire gleamed in one another’s eyes. Peklo stormed towards Wavestar, pushing him over the edge, Wavestar never had a chance to save himself, instead he raked his claws into Peklo’s pelt and brought the tom down with him to hard rock floor where the main battle was held.

Moonsight awoke with a start, he couldn’t tell if his body was still wet from the river, or if it was drenched with sweat. Either way, he was still freezing, and more exhausted than before he had fallen asleep. Shifting slightly he took in his surroundings, pausing finally on Foxstar. A slight disappointment flowed through him, he should’ve been able to sneak away better, before he pushed back his emotions and watched Foxstar out of the corner of his eye while he ste about the task of cleaning his wounds. He would have to w ait to assess his paw, but he could take care of the gash that was still bleeding.

“Can I help you with something?”
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NOTES: Kako- German for evil
Peklo- Czech for H***
OUTFIT: clickky
WORDS: 0 0 0 0
MUSE: good/bad and just plain ugly
CREDIT: NOTHING_PERSONAL@CAUTION 2.0
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She heard MoonSight starting to speak, and before she could even hear what he asked, she spun around, eyes aflare. FoxStar snarled, and stared at him dead-eye, and yelled in his face.

"You tried to leave again! Leave me again!" her claws scratched at the earth beneath her, while droplets of tears started to pool in the corners of her eyes, soon streaming down her face.

"How... How could you..." she mumbled that, a whimper at the end of her sentence. She suddenly threw her head into his neck and sobbed softly. She couldn't do anything else. Foxstar couldn't pull herself together...

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Moonsight sighed, the first thing they really said to each other had to be heated words and distressed arguements. It seemed like that was all he ever heard at Windclan, maybe that was why he had such a hard time staying around, or maybe, he was more of a loner than he thought he was. Wavestar had once explained, that while one in a litter, may be the perfect warrior and well suited for clan life, the other may be more suited for running on their own. Wherever Mosspelt was, she was deffinately the one in that belonged here, not him.

"I didn't purposely, I needed the time to think." Moonsight paused, thinking his next words through carefully. "I was never sure, if I told you that I was leaving for a while, if you would feel as if you should come with me."

He broke off, staring at a moth skitter across the lake, on a normal day he would've chased after it. He hadn't had a normal day in a long time.

"You're place isn't as a loner, the rules, though seemingly non-existant as they are, in clan fighting don't stand up to the fights that trained rouge's can put up. When you see cats that are fighting on the same side purposely kill each other out of pure annoyance...changes you. I wasn't going to let you see that..." Moonsight finally replied, glancing over at the she-cat.

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FoxStar pulled away from the tom, and sniffled. She ran her right forepaw across her eyes, hoping that it would stop some tears, but it failed, because more of it just pooled down her face. She couldn't control herself no longer; she broke down way too fast.

"So that's your solution? To run away, and leave me here, wondering what I have done? Making me cry, day and night, hoping that someday you would come back?"
she would of hissed that, but she just couldn't bring herself to doing so; it instead turned out to be a whimper, "If you left, if you leave... Then I'm going after you! I'm not letting you go, not again!"

She looked at him, her face rather stern. She wasn't kidding. If he disappeared, she was going to go off and find him. This time, she wouldn't give up, even if the foxes chased her. Even if the badgers tried to kill her. She was not going to let him leave. Not again. No. This time. She wouldn't give up. This time, she would keep going. Even if Starclan tried to interfere and make her stop, she would fight them and keep going.

"Try it... Try leaving... watch what happens! This clan will notice not only one cat missing, but two! I don't care what happens on the outside world. I would believe that nothing matters, as long as I'm there with you!" she gulped down some dried out saliva, trying to keep her calm, "Do... do you not care anymore? Do you not believe that..? I wouldn't change... no matter how changed I am now... The only reason why I changed.. is because I thought I drove you off..."

FoxStar winced and looked away, her teeth grinding upon one another. She still loved MoonSight, as you can see, but what about SwiftBreeze..? She loved him, too, but... does she love MoonSight more? Maybe, maybe not... Only time will tell. Then again, time is what lead to this uprising moment. Not like it mattered anymore. She didn't think much mattered. Especially right now.

Her eyes suddenly narrowed into slits, her claws burying themselves in the earth. She was starting to have an idea in her head. It wasn't her fault... It was their fault! IT'S THEIR FAULT FOR HER PAIN! The toms... MoonSight and SwiftBreeze!

"WHY DID YOU DO THIS?" she suddenly screeched while she spun around and stared at him, "WANT TO PLAY WITH A SHE-CATS FEELINGS? WANT TO MAKE HER CRY AND MOAN AND BEG FOR MORE? MAKE HER WANT A FAMILY, KITS, AND THEN LEAVE WITHOUT A TRACE, MAKING HER FALL FOR ANOTHER, AND THEN COME BACK, MAKING HER WANT BOTH OF THEM... AND AND... WANT EVEN more kits... and.. more... everything. THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

She was panting heavily now, and she looked rather insane... I wonder how this impact is going to take on the clan... she will probably never this idea out of he rhead. at least, not for a while.

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Moonsight held his tongue till Foxstar was done talking. He knew she deserved to rant, and he was going to allow that. She deserved to do much more than he had allowed her so far, especially keeping his distance, but he was still in shock, he could tell. He wasn't going to let him think not only about the nightmares, but his panic attacks and everything else as well. It wouldn't due to anyone good to know about them....

"Everytime I see you standing up infront of the clan for a meeting... I see Wavestar standing on that same ledge... and I see him on the ledge that ultimately led to his death... and I realize that I don't want to have to see another leader lose all of their lives in one night again, let alone you. The pain Wavestar must've suffered... he shouldn't have even been there and he was just torn from this world...

"Sometimes, in my nightmares, when my mind replays Wavestar's dying moments, I swear, I can see a mist or perhaps it was more like a shadow... but, it doesn't leave. And I don't know if it's real or not. All I know is that I have an eerie feeling that I saw Wavestar's soul leave towards Starclan... I don't think I've ever slept withouth nightmares since that night."

Moonsight broke off, looking over to Foxstar. He tried to keep his eyes emotionless, tried to keep the fear and desperate shadows of insanity out of his golden depths. He doubted it was working to well. "I, I can't bear that again Foxstar. I'd rather know you were here, miserable, than with me when I go check on how the loners are faring because if something ever happened to you, I don't think..."

He broke off lowering his gaze, trying desperately to calm his breathing down. Trying to ignore the images of blood smearing the perfect white coat of his best friend, and also his own love still very much alive, dying by some of the most horrid ways...

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FoxStar sat there, panting rather heavily. Why? It wasn't because she was at loss of breath, more like anger. She was really angry now, because she realized that it wasn't exactly her fault. Not all of it anyways. She really did want kits, a family. She wanted so much... and she didn't want to be a leader! She wasn't cut out for it. She should just step down and let SwiftFire take the throne. But no, she was stuck. She wanted to prove herself-- but why? She never thought she did, but now with him rambling, and her thinking... maybe she was cut out for this. MAYBE she was supposed to show everyone how toms really were. MAYBE she was supposed to make them suffer for hurting she-cats. MAYBE.... MAYBE.... she lost her thought.

"MoonSight..." she growled his name, her eyes tightly shut closed, and her teeth grinded against one another, "Doesn't explain your actions... nightmares? Yeah, I have those too. EVERYONE does. But the only difference between yours and mine... is..."

She looked up at him now, her eyes full of fury while tears slowly went down her cheeks, "Mine came true. And it's about to happen again, if you step away and walk off, hoping that maybe some she-cat would fall for you again, so you can twist them in knots and make them fall..."

She stood up on all fours now, and she took a step towards him. She wanted to twist her head around her neck to freak him out, or to just make her mind clear her thoughts. She was feeling odd, and she didn't like it. Okay, maybe a little... it's giving her a little courage. Kind of.

FoxStar stared at him dead-in the eyes, her blue eyes seeming to flare. "MoonSight... I'm not letting you do that to another she-cat! Not just for the she-cat's sake, but because I love you! You just don't want to accept that... do you? Truth is, while you go off teasing another, you really think it's me... don't you? Because I bring that little joy spark in your soul!"

Why was she acting like this? Maybe there was something in the weather. Maybe catnip. Maybe... Maybe she was just turning insane. Maybe... Maybe... she didn't know. She couldn't know. She was so senseless to a lot of things right now, that if a fish flapped on her back, she wouldn't even notice. She would ignore it, and act like she was the queen of the world. She felt like it right now.

"I still want a family with you. I still want you to stay. And you know what? I may not get the first one, but you sure are staying! If it kills me, I'll make sure you stay! For all I know, you could be running off to a beautiful she-cat (more beautiful than me, obviously, I'm not beautiful at all)-- and have little babies. You probably already have kits! Don't you?!" She took another step towards MoonSight, and placed her right paw on his shoulder, and pushed it down, "MoonSight-- You better be staying... Because I'll chase you down! I'll bring you back by your scruff like a little kit you are! I'm not going to cry no more, I'm not going to relive those nightmares again!"

She wanted to cry right then and there-- which she was, but she took no notice. She felt like she was standing up for something important (which she technically was...) but the thing is, what is she going to do if he stays? What is she going to do to him? What is she going to do to SwiftBreeze? What is she going to do to the other toms? She already had things in mind, and they are going to wish they never were born.

FoxStar was starting to get sexist. It was true. But the fact is... it was because of Love. She knew this, but she didn't care. She wanted them all to go down and die. Okay-- maybe not... but still. She felt like she could do much more... she did. She truly did. But... ah, I don't know.

"Well?! ARE YOU GOING TO STAY?" she yelled, hoping that shivers went up and down his spine.

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Moonsight glared at Foxstar, shaking off her paw. Without a word he turned and headed towards camp. He wasn't t he same ditzy, obediant warrier that only worried about not making a fool of himself; he was no longer a loner, living on his own and desperately trying to fight his way back, neither was he the leader of a broken group. He was nothing, and it sent his mind reeling.

He wasn't used to taking orders from anyone, perhaps that was the reason he found himself so heck bent on giving into Foxstar. But deep inside, he knew the real reason why he rebeled so hard, he just didn't want to think of hit. He would rather let the creeping insanity take him over than fight with the overpowering sense of shock, of failure, of loss.

Turning to glance over his should he glowered at his leader. "What am I but an obediant warrior?" Whipping his head back around he pushed his way through the brush, willing his mind to slow down.

He wished Lillywhisker or Mosspelt were there, waiting back at camp. But even though Lillywhisker would've joined the clan if he asked, she probably would've went insane quicker than he, and there was no way for him to search for Mosspelt now....

If only he could talk to his sister, maybe then he would be able to finally let go of the disappointment he felt. Perhaps he had already worn out his welcome home, but he could let go, he couldn't stop reliving the screams. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw red instead of black, each turn he took he saw another cat he could've saved, if only he had been just a few seconds faster. Perhaps he was feeling sorry for himself, but he couldn't forget all that he had lost, everytime he looked in Lillywhisker's emotionless eyes. Nothing to keep her there, and returning to nothing, she was worse off than he....

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The fox-like she-cat growled, and looked at him in stern eyes. She had her ears up right on her head, all perked up and looking like they were just perched up there and that they couldn't move. She wanted to say she was angry, which she was, don't get me wrong, but she was rather hurt too. She wanted to run after him and lick his face all over, but she couldn't. She didn't want to move. She didn't want to give in.

"What am I but an obediant warrior?" she heard, which made her claws scratch at the ground beneath her, letting out a furious hiss. That wasn't true. Foxstar wished for so much from that warrior, and she didn't see him so obedient. I mean... she did, but... she didn't want him to take orders from her. Well, now she was starting to. She wanted him to be with her, but it was obvious he didn't wish for the same no longer. At least, Foxstar didn't think he did.

She suddenly dashed over and stopped him from walking away and snarled in his face.

"You think that's how I see you? Moonsight, I love you!" she hissed, letting her fur fluff up, "I want nothing more than to be with you and have a normal freaking life! But no, I'm stuck being a useless leader who can't even have a family of her own! You know how many times I was tempted to jump off the gorge? But you know what lifted my spirits? The thought of you coming home!... Your true home..."

Foxstar wanted to scream her lungs out, and she wanted nothing more than to be with him, like I said before. But... it isn't going to happen now, was it? Her nightmares were slowly creeping through into reality. She wanted her nightmares to stay in her mind, not to be out in front of her eyes. Nightmares that MoonSight will leave and never come back. That Moonsight no longer wished to be with her. Since they started to come true, she tried to move on. Which worked, sort of... She loved two toms now, but which one to choose...?

The she-cat looked down and started to whine. She was starting to have flashes of her nightmares. She was starting to feel the real pain. She was starting to feel the creeping sensation of... reality.

She closed her eyes slowly, while the flashes began to rapidly shine on through more clearly.

"No! Don't leave me!" Foxstar yelled through the blistering winds of the storm, "I need you here!"

Tears were going down her face, but you wouldn't be able to tell by this storm, it was pouring down rain and it was blurring out her vision. She could barely see the tom, Moonsight, but she knew he was there.

"No you don't, FoxStar, I'm leaving!" the tom seemed to yell over the roars of the storm, him soon disappearing.

((fa;sldjfkwer I couldn't add more here))

She she-cat lifted up her gaze to MoonSight's, and winced. She felt weak now, and she just fell down on the ground, curled up in a ball. But that doesn't mean her sexism thoughts left. She still had them. Oh, did she...

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Moonsight sighed, breathing in deeply. He took a few more steps toward camp before sitting down and watching Foxstar. He couldn't take much more of this fighting, but he didn't know how else to make Foxstar realize.

"Foxstar, I wasn't born here, I'm not built to be a Windclan cat, this isn't where I was supposed to be. I'm not swift enough to chase down rabbits all day..." He paused, thinking out his next thoughts carefully. "Of course I love you. What other reason would there be for me to come back here otherwise? Lillywhisker and Mosspelt were happy there, I could've chosen to lead the clan, there were less restrictions, less threats, Wavestar was buried there... you're the reason I came back, and in turn the others did too. Of course, Mosspelt had her mate and kits as well to come back to as well but that's not quite the point here..."