Persistance of Memory (open)

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Riddlestar padded into the den that had once been Tanglestar's. The scent of many cats lingered in here, including his own. He remembered when Tanglestar had first found him, wandering around Thunderclan's territory. He had been young, unmarred and strong. His muscles were still young. This was before the time of Lurkclan. Then there was the raid on Lurkclan where his paw had been ruined.. the first of many scars came from here. Then the battle for the Sunningrocks, the beginnings of a fued with Froststorm. Many battles with Riverclan and the final one where he had lost his eye, Froststorm dying. Cats had died, and none had been born. No new kits for Thunderclan.. It depressed him. He adored kit. Mousefur would have been having their kits about now.. if she hadn't gone off and disappeared. Riddlestar sighed, curling up in his nest. It was new, not the nest that Tanglestar had had. No, his was made up of ferns, wildflowers, grasses, and onion grass and wild garlic. It made his den smell wonderful. He curled up, closing his eye and thinking. Should anyone need something, they might as well just come in and ask it.

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When You're Gone

Sunflash had been wandering around the camp all day, his eyes blank and dull. They had no gleam as they once posessed when he had been training with Finchpaw. Now all he could do was watch the world like a dead cat. He himself wished he were dead. He felt so lifeless and empty now; he didn't even realize it when he padded into Tanglestar's old den. The golden tom looked at the walls of the den sadly, taking in the scents of his mate with a pain in his heart, and let out a sigh before he noticed that Riddlestar was there. Laying in his Tanglestar's old spot.

The warrior didn't bother to dip his head to the new leader. He couldn't have cared less about something like that. The only cat he'd loved was gone. How was he supposed to worry about anything else? The tom flicked his tail half-heartedly and padded near the edges of the den, looking at them as if Tanglestar could be hiding right behind them, but he couldn't break through. "Tanglestar used to sleep here... I was with her most of the time." His tail brushed the rock walls, barely conscious that he was speaking out loud.

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Riddlestar looked up when Sunflash came in. "I know. I know how hard it is for you to lose her." The tom said, looking at his amber companion. "I lost my mate too. She just... up and vanished around the time Tanglestar did.. She was excited.. She wanted kits so badly.. but I think she was depressed. I don't know where they went." He finished. "Out of everyone here, I know best what you're going through." He sighed, flicking his tail. Tanglestar's nest was still there, still in the corner where she had left it. He hadn't had the heart to destroy it. He still wanted to pad over and sit by it sometimes, breathing in the scent of the much older leader and wish that she was still here. Wish that maybe instead of disappearing she had just become an elder instead. Tanglestar's nest was old, all the materials packed in tightly. Riddlestar had been able to push it and not a single blade of grass had fallen. If one wanted to, they could drag that nest across the camp and back and find it still in perfect form, not even smaller. "If you want, you can have her nest. You can do with it what you'd like. If you want, you can stay in here as well. I know it's not easy to leave." He said softly, not like he didn't want Sunflash to hear it, but softly so it didn't seem like he was yelling it. These words were meant to comfort.

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I Miss You

Sunflash heard his words, but couldn't muster the ability to look back at him. The warrior just brushed his tail along the den walls, looking around him. "Tanglestar loved kits too," he murmured. "She knew that as a leader she couldn't have kits, but she treated every young cat in the Clan as if they were her own. She cared so much for ThunderClan." The tom winced at the memory as if he had treated on a thorn. Every warrior and every kit had been like kin to her. She had mourned for Moonshine like a sister, and had tried to care for Starpaw as her own. He had seen it in her eyes; she was- had been- the queen to ThunderClan.

He had never stopped moving, apparently, and he look down in slight surprise when he almost stepped on Tanglestar's old nest. Seeing it made his eyes darken, and he had to close them. He pricked his ear when Riddlestar spoke again, then opened his eyes to look at the nest again. He lowered his nose to the dry moss, taking in the scent of his love. "I could never stay in here... This is your den now. Besides, it holds too many memories." The tom was fighting the emotion that threatened to choke his voice. "But I do think I'd like to have it- her nest, I mean. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet." The fact that the moss was old and dry, or if it wouldn't be comfortable didn't matter. Those unimportant things weren't the reason he wanted to hold onto it.

Sunflash sat down beside the nest, trying to picture his mate laying there asleep rather than he body sprawled out somewhere unknown. "I just don't understand," he growled quietly, his body beginning to shake. "Why did she go? Where did she go? Why did StarClan take her away from me?" For the first time he looked up at Riddlestar, his amber eyes shinning with sadness. He didn't know any cat he could talk to about this rather than the one who shared his pain.

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"I don't know. Starclan works in many wonderous and sad ways. What they do today will affect the outcome of the rest of time. They don't really care if it hurts us deep down. They just want what they want. It'll all reveal itself in time I suppose."

Riddlestar said, flicking his tail. His single gold eye looked over at Sunflash, looking him over carefully. he had a good feeling about this tom. Perhaps he was next in line for deputy. Riddlestar sighed. he didn't really know who he was going to choose.

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Holding On

The warrior turned his head away, clamping his eyes shut with a silent snarl on his lips. He didn't want some sort of excuse like that. Sunflash knew that StarClan couldn't kept his beloved here if they had really wanted to. What good could be brought from taking her away? She still had so much to offer the Clan!

His once bright pelt now looked dull. The whole thing was just killing him, shredding apart his heart. He was sure that it now lay in tiny pieces inside his chest. Slowly, the tom turned his face back toward the new leader. "I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so useless." He shook his head. "But... I suppose the only thing you can really do is be the best leader you can in her memory. That's what Tanglestar would have wanted, for her Clan to remain strong." Sunflash wished he could do something for his mate, too, but there was nothing except to remember her. The yellow warrior knew that he would never be able to take another mate after loving one so much, and that would forever be his vigil.

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Riddlestar nodded. "I understand. Honestly, if I could, i would trade myself for Tanglestar. I would give myself up to Starclan to get her back. She was moer than any of us could have asked for. She was a leader, a sister, a mother, and a friend. She may not have had any of us as her blood family, but she made us her family anyway."

Riddlestar said with a sigh, laying back down and resting his head on his paws. "I admired her. She was a role model of mine. I wanted to lead like her so badly.... but now she's not here... I feel lost.. But I have to keep trying..." A single tear rolled down from his golden eye. The first tear shed since she had gone missing.

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I Linger In The Doorway

Sunflash shook his head. "Tanglestar never would have let you go in her place. She wouldn't have let any cat do that. It would have destroyed her." In his mind, there was no better cat than her. She'd been always thinking of the Clan, what was best for it as a whole, with a solid moral conscience. The warrior had refused to accept her pre-disappearance bloodlust to be unjustified. Any cat she had hated deserved to die.

Seeing the tear trickle down his leader's face, Sunflash felt unnerved. "I know this sound hypocritical coming from me," he stated slowly, trying to keep his own feelings controlled as best he could, "but being sad isn't going to make you the leader Tanglestar would want to lead ThunderClan. She'd want you to be brave, and to face your job with strength." The warrior wished he could follow those words himself.

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"I know I have to be strong. I'm just not having an easy time coping with how she's gone. It's unnerving. Seeing someone as strong as Tanglestar just up and disappear, It makes you think." Riddlestar said, wiping away the tear with his paw. He pulled himelf to his paws, stretching out.

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It's All Around

Sunflash closed his eyes. "I know. I know too well. But... Let's just try. For her." He opened his eyes, flicking the tabby's shoulder with his tail-tip. "And if you can't, at least put on a mask for the Clan. You could start with calling a meeting. Show them they still have a leader they can look up to."