Scattered Dreams

[Deleted]

Today was a bit boring for his preference. The winds rustled through the waving branches above him, a squirrel barked, and a falcon high over head flew to it's content. Everything suggested a perfect day, but nothing had really happened. In fact, at this moment Foxflight could be found napping under a nearby tree, his back to it. His thick fur was waving around after every breeze, but he slept soundly until every few moments where the smell of wet cat fur and fearful eyes would cut in.

Thinking about it, a cat of his caliber should've been dreaming about a certain willow tree in which many clan cats surrounded, but that wasn't the case. Everytime he got these certain images of wet fur and eyes he would awake. It had turned out that Foxflight hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in a long time and it showed. Bags were under his poofy eyes and raggedy looking fur.

The images he saw, the scenes that scared him awake, were from an event that had almost cost his love their life. Ferncloud was her name and she as the daintiest and shyest she-cat he had ever known, but it was her heart that had taken him the most. She was simply stunning in his eyes and that image of her had been constantly cut down in the last couple of days. It didn't matter where he slept, he still saw her cold almost lifeless body on the shore of an over swollen river. He would never forget the look in her eyes as she saw him when she awoke. It had almost been like he was looking at a completely different cat.

In all honosties it was almost just like that. Ferncloud had forgotten a lot of her memories and it had pained him since the day he had rescued her. She acted different, but he still had never given up on her and he knew that Ferncloud wouldn't either. At this point in time he knew that he had loved her and still did.

A sudden flash of those images again washed over the tom and he bolted awake, his fur all on end. He wished he could just get some honest to goodness sleep, but at this point in time it just didn't seem possible. Clan life had gone on and he was faced to live in a sleepless world in which he had to care about other things other than trying to get Ferncloud to remember.

Surveying his surroundings, a sudden movement near the bushes alerted him to a prescence nearby. Scenting the air, nothing stood out which made him a bit nervous. A clan cat usually showed themselves by this time. Due to this, he sat down on his haunches and waited with unsheathed claws for the cat to appear. "Who is it," his voice rang through the forest.

[Tanglekit]

The creamy she-cat poked her head out of the surrounding bushes, her skin hot with a blush. Her long fur blew in the wind revealing her scent, and bringing her his. Ferncloud had been caught in the act of spying and it was embarrassing. But she needed to get to know this tom. Ever since her accident she had this consistent itch at the back of her head making her crazy. A flash of red fur. A scribble of conversation. Everything she had dreamt of pointed to this tom, but she didn't know why. He turned on her and asked who was there, and for a moment she thought of simply running away. But then she remembered some of the conversation from the day he had found her soaking wet.

You were a friend that that would always be there, no matter what.

Only a friend?

You were more....

She couldn't just leave him here. She had to know what this was. This tension between them. This mess that was pulling at her thoughts ever day and night. She had to get to the bottom of this for the sake of her sanity. She emerged from the bush completely walking over to Foxflight. "Hello Foxflight. Can I join you?, she asked a little timidly. As the days had gone by she had been regaining parts of herself. And the shyness had been a large part of that. Her posture, the same slouched nervous form from before the flood. She didn't wait for him to answer but curled up next to him. His large body made her look even smaller and fragile next to him. Her long cream fur mingled with his red fur making her feel safe. The warmth was comforting, and for once the images of him weren't there. The worry on his face when he had found her. The strain in his voice when she hadn't woken up. All of these things had left her tired and on the brink of insanity. "Foxflight are you alright? You look a little agitated.", she could understand that feeling since she had been irritated almost constantly. But sitting next to him was soothing and she could feel the effects of her plaguing dreams. Not that dreaming about him was a bad thing. She had found the tom to be quite handsome, and he was always very kind to her. She didn't know this had to be like for him, but not remembering who he was, or what he meant to her was almost painful.

[Deleted]

To his surprise, it was Ferncloud. It was like Starclan was throwing his dreams to the skies to mess with him. His tail flicked in a bit of anger at Starclan, but he stopped it when the she-cat fully stepped out of the bushes. Foxflight's stance of aggression changed to a softer one he used around clan mates.

Her voice then bounced towards him as he looked at her, not knowing how to react. Here she was, the one cat he had feelings for, but here she was not the cat he had feelings for. It was such a mess that these types of situations didn't help him have less headaches. In fact they added to them significantly. Ferncloud was acting how she used too and it pained him to see her act so timid, but have such a different grasp of reality than her. He had tried everything to help her and he didn't know if he was doing that at all.

His ears flicked knowing she expected an answer if she could join him. He nodded, but she was curling up next to him before she would've had a chance to notice. As her fur mingled with his he looked down at her, his form being so much bigger. She was beautiful and a look of love swam in his green eyes, but so did fear and unsureness. Her mouth then opened again and asked if he was okay and that he looked agitated.

Foxflight gritted his teeth in detest of himself. He had wanted to make sure she didn't notice, but it had been hard when he was suddenly in her presence without any warning. She had practically come out of no where not to mention without great sleep he was a bit grumpy. "I'm fine, at least as good as I can without sleep," he explained a bit timidly, unsure of his words. "Sorry to look agitated. I don't mean to seem that way." His meows were soft and kind, but a bit of gravely texture with not as heavy pronunciation came out because of his sleepiness.

[Tanglekit]

Where Ferncloud had found relief in Foxflight's presence it seemed like the opposite for him. Her being there seemed to make him more uncomfortable. He hadn't been sleeping either. If being around each other was so unpleasant to the others sanity, then why didn't they go separate ways and never look back. Forget about this stuff between them and move to other things. He made such a huge impact on her however that she didn't want to cut him from her life. To be without him, would be like lungs without air. Useless. She leaned in and licked his shoulder trying to ease some of his tension. "I am sorry.", she whispered pressing her nose into his fur, taking a deep breath of his intoxicating scent. "Can we please talk about this, try and get to the bottom of all this tension and sleeplessness. If it means that we can never see each other again, then so be it. If I cause you that much trouble maybe I shouldn't press you further.", she proposed. But as the words came out her heart broke a little. She didn't know why she felt this way, but having him move on without her was painful.

Just the thought of Foxflight with another she-cat made the fur on her back stand up straight. A growl resonating from her throat. She would be tall and muscular. Beautiful and Graceful. The opposite of everything that she was. Maybe that was what he wanted. That kind of she-cat. Her ears pinned down to her head and she began to lick Foxflight some more. To mark him with her scent in a way. A sign saying 'Ferncloud's back off', was exactly what she wanted. It might be the most selfish thing that she could ever do, but she wanted Foxflight for herself. Her rasping tongue ran over his shoulder and neck in long strokes. In between licks she would run her face over the areas she had licked. She couldn't quite understand this feeling of possession, but it must have been a part of her. A part that had been forgotten. When she stopped licking she felt a little less crazy. "Foxflight I don't understand any of this. My feelings and emotions are a big blur, and yet in the middle I find you. Any which way I look I find you. You are in the middle of everything. The cause of everything is you. Why is that? Make me understand?", she pleaded rubbing against him a little more. She couldn't do this without him, couldn't remember without his help. His kindness. His caring.

[Deleted]

An unfamiliar texture hit his side and he looked down to notice Ferncloud had licked him in a kind gesture. Where her tongue had rasped had indeed calmed him down a bit, but also set a fire to new thoughts. He didn't know if she would ever do that other than a gesture of friendship and it pained him. At one point he had thought they could be together, that she had felt that way of him. Unfortunately, it had taken her near death to prove to him his own feelings towards her. He had been stupid to not understand them sooner and now he wondered if they were for naught. Perhaps she wasn't the one Starclan had planned for him. The idea of another she-cat invading his thoughts and heart though didn't seem right. Ferncloud just seemed so right, but now it hurt to be around her. With this new barrage he only allowed his tail to twitch back and forth a bit faster. He would not lose it in front of her. She wasn't guilty of anything and so deserved none of his anger with himself and sheer bad luck.

The next thing he heard made him remain perfectly quiet as she said the words that were the climax of this relationship. They were muffled as she said them through his fur, but nonetheless he heard every single one. His eyes looked down at Ferncloud questioningly and then she stared licking him frantically. Alarm bells hit him and he forced back a hiss of annoyance. Instead, he merely stepped back from the she-cat with semi-raised fur. Standing fully up, he looked at her form as she continued to speak. He just nodded and let her carry on.

She easily rubbed against his side again for he hadn't gotten very far, merely a half tiny itty bitty step. Her questions though stopped him from reacting. Is she saying that her memories are pointing towards me? He was pretty sure that was what she meant and grouping those with the words earlier before he freaked out, he looked towards her with eyes that dulled. Remembering her form washed up flashed across his vision. He had been too late then, but not now. He could at least try to show her, remind her fully, and see if she did love him ever.

"You were important to me, Ferncloud. You were the timid and shy she-cat that I befriended. I tried to make you see yourself as a greater cat that you are and you began to change. Your confidence grew and...," he stopped as the words almost fell out. Did he trust her? Did he truly chance his heart breaking? Yes, whispered a voice in his mind. "I began to have feelings for you, Ferncloud." There it was, everything she needed to know that he thought she did. He figured that's what caused him to be so set in her mind and it made sense. He had been her lifeboat in the hectic clan life and he had pulled her out of the waters. He had watched her grow to be a beautiful she-cat in short time adn during that friendship his love had blossomed.

[Tanglekit]

Ferncloud felt a little hurt when Foxflight made distance between them. She had felt so possessive, and she had rashly shown affection that he obviously didn't want. Or did he? He had been so important to her search for the truth, and here were her answers. Him! It was like a piece of a puzzle that just snapped into place. Like it was clear for the first time in weeks. "It's you!", she almost yelled looking back at him. Her blue eyes gleamed at him. She remembered everything. The first time they had met, their hunting trips together, his coaching her in her confide3nce. It all made sense now, why she had been so desperate to be near him.

Her feelings were finally making a themselves understood. From the first time she had met him, she had felt a connection. He had seen past her awkwardness, and shy behavior, and made her feel like a star. He had broken through her shell and made her feel her own beauty. Her posture straightened up to it's full height and her head was held a little more confidently. She felt a strength rush over her. Like before, just being around him made her feel like a better cat. "Foxflight, I was spinning in the water, and it was rushing past me. I couldn't swim, and my last conscious thought was of you. I wanted you to be there with me. I needed to tell you something before I was lost."

Her voice was rising in volume and she now stood oposite of Foxflight. "I had to tell you something so important. It was more important than air or even life itself. Foxflight, I love you! I have loved you for so long now, and I thought that you didn't return my feelings. That was why I was near the river the day of the flood. Trying to figure out how to tell you.", she mewed. She stepped forward and licked his cheek with obvious affection. This secret had been so heavy to keep. But now it was off of her chest and she could finally be with Foxflight. She had been so scared that he was only being nice because they were friends, but now it had changed. He had feelings for her, and she had feelings for him, and now so many infinite futures seemed to open up. All of them included him.

"I have been so blind, and stupid,and I know that we have lost so much time with each other. But I can;t live without you. I have always needed you!"

[Deleted]

At her sudden yelp his ears pinned themselves to his head to ward off the barracading tones. When he was sure it was over, they lifted back up, but the words he had heard perfectly. It was because of them that he cocked his head to the side. How could it be him? Where on earth did that even come from based on the talk so far. With that it hit him just as it had Ferncloud. She meant that he had been the cause of all her distress of remembering. He had actually been causing her a bit of pain because of the memories tugging at her and in turn that hurt him. Foxflight had tried his best to be as gentle as possible and yet it had still happened. This didn't get him down for long since he saw the excitement playing in Ferncloud's eyes. Her little form looked to him as if it could barely contain it. So he waited for her to explain.

It was as if a switch had been flipped because Ferncloud immediatly changed her position in front of him. Her timid and shy personality seemed to flee after those words and were replaced with the Ferncloud he had known before the flood. His eyes narrowed and his ears pricked at this change, especially when she began to describe why she had been by the river. She was recounting her steps and what he heard was leading to a climax he himself had come to before, but this seemed more grand.

Her tongue lightly rasped against his cheek and he blinked at her as his body barely contained itself. He was full of energy because of the excitement jittering through him. She had remembered. An event that had occurred before the river swallowed her up had come to her attention finally. Her mind was clear it seemed, but her explanation made him feel horrible. She had been there because of him, but instead of hurting himself anymore he listened to what she had to say. His pure joy of just having Ferncloud back in the same mind was enough for any bad thought to go away.

Ferncloud's next soft words jolted him out of his shock and all the dread that filled him and his eyes vanished instantly. Foxflight couldn't believe what he had just heard. She had just said she returned his feelings in a way that made his heart soar. She had also regained her memories enough for him to confirm that it was indeed the Ferncloud he loved and cared for.

Foxflight took that step back towards Ferncloud so fast after he looked her up and down again to make sure it was really happening, that his fur was still flying forward as he hugged her as best a cat could. Happiness sung in his heart. His late feelings had been returned with other late ones. They were two happy late birds together and he would make sure he protected her as best he could from now on. "You're back!," he meowed in tones not native to him in some time. His own tongue rasped against her shoulder lovingly. Starclan had answered his prayers! "I love you too."

[Tanglekit]

Ferncloud had never felt so much joy in her whole life. Not even when Tanglestar had allowed them into the clans, when her rogue mother and Thunderclan father begged for it. Her tail was twitching with excitement and she felt so alive. She was running rasping licks over Foxflight's face and neck, relishing in his scent. "Foxflight I will never leave you alone like this again. You will be in my heart even in death.", she mewed. It had taken her so long to find this revalation insideof her chest that was so important to her life. She had been waiting for his lovew when the rapids had claimed her memories and now they came rushing back. Now she had him and his love forever. Her creamy fur was standing on end and she could feel Foxflight's own excitement.

"I am so sorry you had to wait for my silly head to remember.", she gushed tears running down her face and pelt. They made their way to the ground and began to pool there. Just thoughts of their life together were filling her head and she could finally say that she had found her soul-mate. The tom that had been destined for her all this time, had been hidden in plain sight. She was glad of his hug and was relieved at the close contact between them.

[Deleted]

Ferncloud was going to make him do it. He genuinely felt his heartstrings pull to a point that tears were welling up. The fact that she herself was crying didn't much help either. He'd waited forever for the real Ferncloud to come back. The fact that she returned his feelings as well had sent an overwhelming rush of excitement and amazement through him. He couldn't believe that the first she-cat he had ever felt feelings for had done so in return. Here he was, Foxflight a warrior with a somewhat hard past, finding love at first sight. Love towards another other than his parents had been an abstract idea to him until he had actually lost his beloved. It had been too late for him to figure that out though until he found her washed up on the river bank, half dead.

Her words were tumbling out of her mouth through tears and her licking. Usually, he would've found this embrace awkward, but in a way it felt right. He wanted his fur next to her as long as possible. He couldn't imagine life without her and how she was here with him for hopefully all of it.

At the end of her statements he looked at her. With watery eyes, he licked her on the forehead and then cheek as his tail twitched about. "You don't need to be sorry Ferncloud. It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry that I couldn't express myself in time for that even to not occur," he spoke quitely. "You will always be in my heart too, Ferncloud. No matter what."