Ode to be alone (Badgerstep, Open)

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Fighting Never Ends Well

When the tears kept coming, Badgerstep felt like raking one of his own claws across his pelt. He should have just kept his mouth shut! Talk about selfish desires; he was no better. No, he was worse. The warrior made sure they were pressing against each other's flanks as much as they could and pressed his cheek to hers to soak up some of the salty tears.

"Why is this hurting you so much?" he murmured, keeping her close. "Moonspirit, tell me. Do you want kits?"

What was he thinking? That question should never have been spoken. She was a medicine cat, for Starclan's sake! He was pushing her in a direction he should be considering. "You're not the only one with selfish desires," he admitted with a grimace.

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"I love you, and thats all I wanted to know..." she sighed, "But honestly, yes. Think about it... kits are the flowers from our seeds of love!" she purred, the tears drying up. "I, I love ya hon. I know this is impossible."

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Trying To Find The Answer

Badgerstep smiled as the tears slowed to a stop, and licked away the remanding streaks on the side he was closest to. "Kits are wonderful," he agreed, wishing it was so easy. The tom had thought he never would have had a problem with his relationship to Moonspirit until this day. "But is it really impossible?" he pressed. "You said before no cat would notice, and that there was some friend who could help you out." His amber eyes shone faintly with a dim hope.

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"Sm-Smallheart I thought, but..." she leaned into him, her head under his chin. She would never force him to do something he didn't want to...

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Stand By Me

Badgerstep looked up toward the sky, then closed his eyes. He loved Moonspirit more than anything. Could doing this really be so wrong? Something he'd never understood was why medicine cats couldn't have mates or kits. There couldn't be anything so bad if kits were, like she'd said, the seeds of love. The warrior took a deep breath through his nose, taking in her scent, letting it muddle his thoughts. Thinking everything through was a pain, but the scent of his mate was wonderful. "I would like kits," he admitted, removing his head from above hers and smiled softly, "but only on your terms. It's a big decision for you."

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Moonspirit closed her eyes for a moment, her mind was racing. Her kits would grow up in a good, functional family, one not against the Warrior code a become warriors. "Let me think about it, It is a big decision and... How about I tell you tomorrow?" she mewed, she looked at him, her eyes bright, happy and full of life. It would be the perfect time too, no one would ever suspect... She got up and stretched, "Same time tomorrow?" she mewed.

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Going Our Separate Ways

The black and white tom purred and licked her cheek once more. "Sounds like a plan. Same time, same place." The warrior gave himself a good, long stretch, realizing they'd been sitting there for quite some time without much movement. But he still felt happy. If Moonspirit's decision was to have kits, they would have a family to watch over and be proud of. And if not, Badgerstep wouldn't have to think about the matter again. Although, he had no doubt that there would be a twinge of disappointment. But he could get over that.

The warrior looked back in the direction of camp. "You know, we better go back separately. The Clan might think it odd if we go padding in together." He didn't like the idea particularly, but it was better that than have to make up an excuse.

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Moonspirit mewed, "You do first, I will stay here and pick a few herbs." she smiled and turned to a juniper bush. "We are low on juniper."

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Fond Farewell

The large warrior flick an ear in agreement. "Alright. Then take this as a goodbye." Badgerstep padded over to her and circled around, brushing their pelts as he went, then felt the familiar spirit pick back up in his paws as he sped toward camp. He could see rabbit ears not too far ahead- might as well pick it up and say he'd been hunting. As his paws pounded the earth, but the noise he made seemed distant, as his mind was filled with apprehension of another great day tomorrow.