Finally {CedarClaw}

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Oh, SootClaw felt so happy. He didn't know he could be this happy, for it never happened before. It felt even better than when she had no memory; it was much more real now. Why? CedarClaw was the real CedarClaw now!

It was no surprise of how happy he was, for it basically showed right through his black furred pelt. His fur was prickling, and his ears were pricked up high, while his tail was high up in the air. He looked like another apprentice.

He knew he was supposed to take her hunting, but he didn't want that. Not at all, he wanted to just lay in the grass with her. He wanted to just lay down and lick her pelt clean; her fur felt nice on his tongue.

He just kept dashing forth, his pink pads slamming down on the grass beneath him rather smoothly. It seemed to give him more strength, yet, couldn't that be because of how happy he was? He didn't know. He didn't care.

It almost looked as if he was going to run and never stop, with the wind ruffling his black fur coat.

For the first time in his new "life" with CedarClaw to her old self, he was actually smiling. He felt good.

He kept running along the plains, soon going to the Moor Hills. He smiled, knowing he was almost near one of the spots where he was with CedarClaw. Where he was licking her pelt each day.

"Almost there, my sweet butterfly!" he exclaimed with pure joy, not caring if she liked how he said sweet butterfly. He would always see her as that.

He suddenly stopped near an oak tree, which was peculiar around here. Not many were sprawled out in the plains or hills. Ah, but this was one place. Well, not exactly, they were always a bit farther, yet it was a bit hot out right now, so he figured shade would be nice.

He laid down right beneath the branches, and smiled up at CedarClaw.

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Cedarclaw was following not far behind Sootclaw, keeping pace with ease and with wide, gleaming eyes. Things seemed to go past her in a blur. The grass under her paws was softer than a nest made from bird feathers or sheep wool. Her heart seemed as fast as her bounds, and she couldn't explain why.

She was racing after the black tom with happiness filling her mind. At one point that would have been the last emotion she would have ever placed with Sootclaw. He had once been the opponent of everything she worked so hard to prove, and then had been the cat responsible for all of that crumbling down into pointless dust. But still, all the same, when Cedarclaw had looked around, her life wasn't really so bad off.

Sure she still wanted to be a full warrior again, and still do as much as she could as a member of WindClan outside the nursery. But the tortoiseshell had three lovely kits- a term she again would never have used previously- and could still look forward to sleeping in the warrior's den again once they were apprentices. And some moon soon, they would be training to be warriors as well, and would eventually become full cats of WindClan. Cedarclaw's smile widened at the thoughts of the future. She had such high hopes for them.

But what about their father? Sootclaw... He had been the cat she wanted to kill. But he seemed so different now. The black tom actually seemed to care about her and the kits. A mouse-brain, maybe, but he still had given her these kits and a new, lighter future. Perhaps a tad more interesting than before.

When she heard him call over his shoulder, thought, her smile flickered. She hadn't gone that soft. But she smirked again as she caught up to him, stopping underneath the oak tree beside him. "Not too fond of the whole butterfly thing. I'm still the old Cedarclaw, remember?" She said it with a smile, however, and nudged him with her forepaw as she took a spot beside him in the shaded grass.

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The tom was laying there waiting, his bright green eyes watching his butterfly's every move. He couldn't help but admire her beauty. The way she walked and ran was wonderful in his eyes. The way she spoke, oh, it sounded like people playing the harp. {Which to me, sounds awesome!}

The tom didn't lay his eyes off of her. He followed her with his gaze all the way. He couldn't look away. He couldn't do anything. All he could do was be hypnotized by her wonder. Oh, he just wanted to actually be with her once more. He didn't want anything more than that.

When she laid down beside him, he couldn't help but smirk at her. He flicked the tip of his tail against her right ear playfully, before nuzzling his muzzle into her pelt for a few moments.

Sootclaw pulled back, and sighed. He looked down at his front paws that laid out in front of him. He knew that she didn't want to be here. He knew that she didn't feel the same. He knew everything. It hurt him to know that. Which, brought along a question that would break his heart for all of eternity.

Sootclaw moved his bright emerald eyes back to her beautiful face, trying to smile- which was rather weak.

"CedarClaw... Do you even like me in the same manner?" he asked painfully, "Or do you hate me...?"

He didn't move his gaze away from her. He just couldn't.

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Cedarclaw smiled and closed her eyes at his little nuzzle. It felt nice to have his fur against her own. Again, memories from the past moons came flooding back to her when this had been completely natural in her mind. This was something like that, but somehow not quite the same. Perhaps it was a better difference, but it was hard to describe.

When Sootclaw pulled away, her orange eyes blinked open and she looked from him up to the tree branches above her head. While her mind vaguely wandered to the matter of ThunderClan's ability to climb trees, and the thought if WindClan cats could learn to do so as well, the tortoiseshell heard the black tom's voice. She couldn't help but blink in surprise at the question. It took her rather off guard. But it was a good question. What was really going through her head? The she-cat didn't even quite know herself.

The tortoiseshell held her tongue as she thought it over, watching her claws sink in and out of their sheaths before responding. "It's hard to say, really. I don't hate you anymore- I know that much." She looked to his eyes as if doing so would convince him of this. "Trust me, I think I'd know if I still wanted to shred your pelt for bedding." Cedarclaw gave a small smile. "But I don't think I feel the exact same as I did before, either. I think... Before, when you convinced me we were already mates, it felt like something was missing. A little bit of something that I kept pushing away to the back of my mind along with the rest of the past." She twitched her whiskers as she paused. It certainly was hard to put.

"But I don't feel like that now." Cedarclaw's smile became a little warmer as she said that, and she reached out with her forepaw so that it was closer to his. "I guess that now that every thing's clear again, and your trickery is out, well, I can actually have real feelings about you instead of those built on an illusion. By the way, still not completely settled about that."

The tortoiseshell chuckled lightly, and leaned into his shoulder a bit more. "Great StarClan, have I really gone this soft?" She shook her head. "I feel so different. Maybe it's because... Oh, I don't know. But it's not so bad. I can look forward to some of the old things, still."

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The black tom was feeling rather swell. Sure, he was a bit nervous, due to being unsure if CedarClaw even felt the same. It was obvious he loved her, everyone could see it. He literally followed her around like a little puppy that was lost. It was humiliating, but he couldn't help it.

It did hurt a little bit with what she said, but he ignored it. He couldn't show her how bad it felt. He couldn't fall down and break. He couldn't be like that. He had to raise his head and look at her softly with a fake smile.

Although, while he continued to listen, it almost sounded like she was saying that she did feel the same, but maybe not as much...? He didn't completely understand, but he pushed it aside. He would worry about that later, for it was too much to handle right now. Next thing he knew, she was leaning into his shoulder a bit.

He couldn't help but purr and lick the top of her head in a quick motion, not sure if she would appreciate that or not. He really did love her, and it looked as if she believed him now.

"Yes, you could still look for the old things, and new things," he smiled a bit more, and continued to speak, "The kits really are wonderful though, aren't they?"

He wanted to change the topic. He wanted to speak about the kits now; he wanted to know so much. He tried to stay a bit father away from CedarClaw, because he didn't want to suffocate her. Although, maybe it was best that he was around her more, eh?

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Cedarclaw looked at the black tom's face, trying to read his thoughts. The tortoiseshell was finding it about as easy a job as to read her own mind. A glimmer of light would appear in his eyes, only to be clouded over by other, less positive emotions. This sure was difficult. Another reason I never got mixed up with this sort of thing, she rebuked in her mind. But as soon as the thoughts flew through her mind, the she-cat wanted to pull them back. Things were different now. How, exactly, was a bit of a mystery, but things just were. There was no sense in trying to deny the matter.

The she-cat was pulled out of her inner thoughts by the feeling of his tongue rasping over her forehead, as he had done back in camp before they'd left. It was strange, and at first she wasn't exactly sure how to respond. The past and present ways of how Cedarclaw would have reacted battled in her mind. The thing was, it felt good. Not that before it would have hurt, exactly. Perhaps it would have injured her pride once- No, it definitely would have. There was no question about it. The tortoiseshell would have been quick to swipe Sootclaw's tongue right out of his jaws it he'd tried. But looking on it now, as this Cedarclaw, she felt as if the sun was shinning straight on her pelt, warming her dark fur. The feeling it drew over her fur, and the rumble of his purr from his chest, it all seemed to create a brighter image that what should have been possible.

A contented purr sounded from her own throat, then, without Cedarclaw even giving the will to do so. The desire not to dwell on the situation seemed to push away her thoughts. All that mattered was laying there with the black tom. "Yeah, I guess so," she mewed in agreement. Her orange eyes narrowed in slight confusion for a heartbeat at his sudden change of topic, but she brushed it off as unimportant as well. "The kits are amazing," the tortoiseshell admitted with a sigh. "They're always so eager and lively. Quietkit's a bit shy compared to her brothers, but she still likes to play all the same." A smile spread over her muzzle. "And they really do look like both of us."

Suddenly, the tortoiseshell noticed that her shoulder was slipping closer to the earth. Blinking, Cedarclaw noticed that Sootclaw's pelt was farther away than what it had been just before. A bit of hurt burned her ears. Comprehension was beyond her now. Why? Had she done something wrong? Was she acting too soft? Embarrassment flooded her pelt- something that Cedarclaw was not used to dealing with- as she regained her posture and looked farther off down the hill, tracing the creek with her eyes. Anything but completely falling into the chasm of a soft, pathetic queen. No matter what, she was still Cedarclaw. She was still strong.