Memories Flooding Back (Sootclaw)

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SootClaw still stood there, not even moving a bit. The first thing she said, he had his mouth gaped open wide. He couldn't believe this! Everything he did was for nothing, and she took it for granted. No matter if her memory went away, she was still CedarClaw inside her beautiful form.

"CedarClaw! You did believe me, don't you remember? You hated me for a short while, but then you forgave me! Come on!"

He cried, tears still running out of his optics. He wasn't too keen on how this was turning out, for he knew claws would be scorched upon his fur once more. Why was it so hard for her to realize this? Why was it so hard for her to notice him for whom he really is?

He saw how gentle she was with DarkKit, and all he could do was scrunch back. He could never do that to Darkkit no longer, for he wasn't their ""father"" no more. CedarClaw didn't want that.

"Fine! I'll just run away! I'll just leave WindClan! Maybe you would be so much happier!"

He squeaked, he started to look like a kit once more, crouching up near a corner.

-

QuietKit heard her father say this, ignoring SwiftFire's touch. She started to dash towards her father, and squeak.

"No!"

She buried her ginger pelt against her father's black pelt. She was easily seen, and they looked almost nothing alike.

She whimpered and whined silently, still burying herself into her father.

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Swiftfire watched Cedarclaw as she responded and she held back frustration. When Darkkit nudged his mother though, he was glad that the kit was helping as best he could.

She listened to Sootclaw in amazement as he began to lose it in front of them. Sootclaw had been tamed by Cedarclaw. He was no longer the pesky tom he'd once been. Contempt wasn't shown in every glance and she again felt the pang of loss for him.

"Sootclaw is right, you forgave him Cedarclaw. Sootclaw you can't run away and leave your kits behind because they do still love you. What will they do without a fatherly figure in their life?"

They were all being so daft! Her paws itched to cuff them both on the ears like a mentor to apprentices.

~~~~~~~~~

At his mother's lick, he didn't back away, but lick her back. He mewled towards her again and said with a quivering voice,"Don't do this! Dad will be dad and you still be mom. We love both!"

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Falling Inside The Black

Cedarclaw felt overcome with bittersweet emotion when Darkkit returned the gesture, and she gave a steady purr. She couldn't help it. Perhaps there was a little flicker of light in this dank new life. But sadness returned to her eyes at his plea. No, no cat here understood. They all still thought that she would swoon for the tom who'd tricked her into all this just because of a few simple words and cries. Why couldn't they understand that it was a little more complicated than that? She was a real cat, with real feelings- whether or not she'd let them show much before.

At the black tom's threat of leaving, the queen held back a retort. She would have loved for him to leave, so that she would never have to deal with the miserable thing again. But the tortoiseshell could plainly see the adoration in her kits' mews. All of them wanted him to stay. They wouldn't be able to understand just why she felt this way. Not for a long time. Someday, I'll tell them the whole story. Then they'll learn to see.

The queen nuzzled Darkkit softly as she thought about her next choice of words, then pulled back to look hard at Sootclaw. "So your answer would just be to turn tail and run away from what you've done here? That's exactly the kind of tom I knew you were." She hoped that this way she could form some kind of medium, a bridge for the kits that would stand until she saw fit to break it down and reveal what it was built on. Nothing. "You'd just leave your kits to live a life with only one parent? For me to have to raise them alone? Is that what you want?"

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The tom rose his head to QuietKit and gave her a few licks, then looked at CedarClaw.

"That isn't what I meant!"

He squeaked.

"I just want you to be happy!"

He choked on those words, gritting his teeth. He nudged QuietKit off of him, as he walked over to CedarClaw. He towered over her, mostly because she was laying down and he was standing, but he stared right down at her.

"I don't want to run away. All I want is for you be happy, and if you are going to be happy if I leave, then I will leave."

He choked.

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No Mercy No More

Cedarclaw rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Great StarClan, Sootclaw! Under any other circumstances I would have loved to see you go running off with your tail standing up straight! But now, considering what is, how would your leaving make anything better?" She stared up at him with embers lighting in her eyes, just warming up.

"Obviously if you left things would only get worse. The kits want you here, and they'd be devastated if you left. They'd probably never speak to me again. And I'd always be known as the she-cat who's supposed mate ran off as soon as the kits were weened." Her black and orange tail swished behind her in frustration as she painted the picture. Couldn't he understand anything? "How would any of that make me happy?"

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Swiftfire looked on and was glad some kind of agreement was met. Her eyes wandered to the kits. Finally, these two were thinking about others than just how this effected them.

~~~~~~~~

Darkkit purred as his father neared. He again noticed the blood dripping as he began padding to the area between the father and mother. He snuggled between them for comfort. No matter what he'd love them forever! Those were kit thoughts. The world was safe and warm and nothing could do anything to separate a family right? Insecurity about if he was right about this made him look at his parents in distress filled eyes that begged for nothing to come between them.

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SootClaw grumbled, and looked away.

"Then what do you want me to do then, CedarClaw?"

He looked right back at her, his fur starting to prickle with unease. He didn't know what to do.

He then felt a tug on his tail, and when he looked back, he saw QuietKit tugging on it. He couldn't help but smile.

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My Shame

Cedarclaw was quite as she leaned down to lick the black kit on his head as he stood between them, thinking. "What I said I wanted before. You stay in WindClan, be a father to these kits. Obviously they want you here." The tortoiseshell flicked her ears at little Quietkit as she played with the big tom's tail. "But to also keep in mind that I am no longer your mate. These are our kits, but that doesn't mean we are together. I'll put up with your being here if that's what the kits want, but nothing more."

Her tail twitched as Stonekit padded around her from where she'd placed him in the nest, and watched him pad nonchalantly over to his siblings to sit beside them. A foolish grin was still on his face. It made her wonder about how much the young tom understood compared to his brother and sister. The queen blinked, then looked back to Sootclaw. "If you want to prove yourself that badly, that is what you will do."

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Swiftfire nodded at Cedarclaw that that was a great decision. She looked at Sootclaw, encouraging him to accept. The kits needed a father and mother figure not matter what and now this was the only way.

~~~~

Darkkit purred as he was licked by his mother. He eyed his sister tugging on his father's tail and wondered where his brother was. With a startled expression, he found Stonekit sitting right next to him. Stonekit was smiling.

He wriggled his rump and jumped upon his brother, trying to knock him over.

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Put It Behind Us

Stonekit hadn't been paying much attention to anything in particular, so he let out a meow in surprise as his brother tackled into him. But once the moment of confusion had passed him by, the tom laughed as he fell onto his back. With a happy purr, the tortoiseshell tom-kit reached up to bat at his brother's ears and his back legs tried to kick Darkkit's legs out from under him. "Take that!"

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The tom sighed and gave a soft nod. At least, this way, she might actually have feelings for him once more. He can prove to her that he changed; she changed him. She just doesn't realize it yet, she hasn't seen his real soft side, she thought it was a joke.

He looked at her softly, and then at QuietKit once more. She was still tugging on his tail, but then she noticed her brother's playing.

She batted at one of her brother's ears, which was StoneKit, since he seemed to be closer. Then she pounced upon her other brother, DarkKit, who looked exactly like SootClaw.

She was glad that they made up, she knew that something good will happen, and a bad thing. A good and bad thing at the same time, but she just didn't know when.

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So Much Change

Cedarclaw looked sternly at Sootclaw as he nodded. He had better go along with the proposition. The queen would never be in the mood for more of his nonsense about love or the rest of that mouse-dung. It had all been lies. But, for the sake of her relation to her kits, the tortoiseshell would have to put up with his being there. They were the last lights in her world now.

Her eyes traveled down to the three young cats batting each other playfully. They were already like little warriors. After all, they were her kits. Unconsciously, one corner of her mouth twitched in a smile. She could still focus on what good she had left. Maybe not everything had to be about the past. She now had three little lives to watch until they became the best warriors WindClan had ever seen.

But that couldn't make everything right. Cedarclaw flicked her tail in dismissal. What was wrong with her? These new thoughts were nothing like those of the warrior she'd been all those moons ago. No matter how she felt about the kits, Sootclaw would still be the thorn in her side. The one who'd taken everything away.

Her eyes moved to what she could see outside the den. Night was deepening outside the nursery, most certainly time for the kits to sleep. "Come on, darlings, time for bed. You can play in the morning." The queen ushered them close with her tail to keep them close to her belly. The little balls of fur were still young, and would need plenty of rest and milk. Cedarclaw gave a comforting, quiet purr as she tried to get them to settle, then looked back up at the black warrior with less enthusiasm.

"Wasn't tonight the full moon? Why aren't you at the Gathering?" Her tone wasn't scolding or bated, but rather flat. If she was going to have to put up with this tom, she my as well pretend so that the kits would be able to sleep.

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And As We Laughed

Stonekit took his sister's blow with another laugh, then wriggled his little haunches and leapt at her from the side, trying to lightly knock her off from her pin over Darkkit. But as soon as he landed, the tortoiseshell kit felt his mother's tail find its way around him and begin to draw him near. The tom grumbled in protest, but let her draw him in toward her belly. It was warm, anyway, making him drowsy.

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SootClaw couldn't help but blink in surprise at CedarClaw. Tonight was a full moon, why wasn't the leader calling in for the gathering?

He looked outside of the den, noticing that more warriors were there, quite confused. He padded back in and blinked slowly.

"W-We're appearently not going."

He couldn't help but shudder. There were going to be some bad times swarming over WindClan, that was for sure.

He slowly padded towards CedarClaw, and looked down.

"Can I lay beside you?"

He asked.

-

QuietKit giggled, being knocked over. She then rose her head, her mother wrapping her into her belly. She made no sign of protest, although in her little kit mind, she wanted to.

She looked at her Dad, and then at her mom, soon curling up beside her brothers against her mother's stomach. She let out a soft purr, and started to knead her paws against CedarClaw's stomach, while she suckled for milk.

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Darkkit's eyes rounded in surprise as his legs shot out from under him as he was about to get back at Stonekit for batting his ears. He was proud of himself for knocking his brother down though. A playful mew of excitement came out of his mouth as he tried to get up.

Suddenly, wait came upon him and the force sent him back to the ground. Looking into the face of his attacker he realized it was his sister. He mockingly hissed with a smile and used his back legs to start to kick her off. Stonekit helped him, but then he was rounded up by their mom. Soon, Quietkit went too.

Darkkit got onto his four paws and wriggled his body to get the leaves off of his dark fur. His mother's tail then brushed him towards her belly as she lyed down. He mewled in protest. "Da! Mum! Can't we still play s'more?"

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Where Have You Been All This Time

Cedarclaw shook her head. "No, no more play. You all need a good night's rest so you can play more tomorrow." She gave a small smile. "Then you can practice that tackle of yours. It looked pretty good. But now sleep." The queen gave the little black tom-kit another lick, then looked back up to Sootclaw with a twitch of her whiskers.

Why for any reason would Foxstar avoid a Gathering? The last thing they needed was to look even weaker in front of the other Clans. Not showing up, however, would be just as bad as letting the others know they were without deputy, and now that she was in her right mind, Cedarclaw opposed the idea fully. Foxstar was ruining WindClan one pawstep at a time. No Gathering, and no deputy. Together she was setting them up for an invasion. "She better have a good reason for not going," the tortoiseshell grumbled. "We're already considered the weakest Clan in the bunch. We can't have them thinking we can't even afford to attend Gatherings anymore."

At his question, her tail twitched irritably. This tom was pushing it. She had tried to force the idea into his skull that they were not mates, so why was he still being so insistent? She wanted to say no, to tell him to back off through bared fangs, but instead she repressed a sigh. The queen had gone through the whole ordeal to get the kits to calm down and trust her. If she made one bad move know, they would turn right back around. "You might as well," she mewed flatly, doing her best to hide her inner disgust.